Thursday, 16 June 2011


"C'est tres dur, tres difficile..."

...until you see the little yellow light winking at you and the car pulling in to the right. In that instant it becomes the easiest thing in the world - all you've done is stand by the side of the road - and your heart fills with joy at all the good in humanity. Since you slammed the last door shut, you've stood there cursing it, thinking, almost knowing, that most people are despicable.

It is this constant flux of emotion, extremes of high and low, that is the most difficult thing about it; the most exhausting aspect of standing in the sun, carrying a heavy bag beside a dusty road, is what happens in your head.

Despite these doubts, one does quite often experience an uprush of spirit, surges of confidence that you can do this - that everything, not only in this scenario but in life, in the universe generally, will be alright. These feelings are of the same order of those felt by people with religious beliefs; that they often come in times of hardship or stress, when they are most needed, is proof for some of their design, of a benevolent being watching over.

More likely it is the power of logic, the triumph of reason; the evidence of humanity's collective experience over millenia coming into a blunt but recognisable focus, and allowing a little bit of truth to shine through. I was not alone by the side of that road: I was with myself.

"So I strap on my sandals and I step like Jesus..."
R. Smith

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